Last year I bought I dress to wear on the day I graduated from college. It was big with eyelit flowers on it. It fell just above my knees. And it was a size 10. Now, at this point in my life my body was much larger. Due to countless wing nights and late nights of drinking calorie fueled beer I had ballooned to nearly 185 lbs and was really a size 12-14. I was in denial as well. How could these fun nights spent with my best friends, resulting in countless amazing memories, also have this kind of affect on my body? I continued to squeeze into everything that was a size 10. Refusing to go any higher.
So, back to this dress. I bought it for graduation. My graduation day from Bucknell was one of the saddest of my life. I was leaving the place I had called home for the last 4 years. The place where I met and fell in love with my amazing husband and made lifelong friendships. I had countless memories and "growing" experiences" here that I was not yet ready to leave. It rained on our graduation day and the water soaked through my graduation goan to the tight fabic from of this too-tight dress. The pink fabric stained my skin and clung to my body. It itched in an increasingly uncomfortable way. This was a constant reminder of what had happened to my body. The rolls and ripples that covered my stomach, theighs, butt, and back were all of a sudden so real to me. I knew I had to do something.
Today I put on that same dress to wear while running errands with my beloved husband. To my great surprise the dress hung losley off of my body. It zipped so easily and was so loose around my chest. I remembered struggling to zip it up the day I bought it and how shallow my breathing had to be while wearing it because of how tight it was around my ribs.
This dress is really a symbol of how far I've come since then. I have stripped myself of much of the excess weight and along with it my fear of actually following my dreams. I have stripped myself of the unforgiving job I was going to everyday and finally found an industry that I am not only passionate about but that I have a gift for.
Things are good. And it took putting on a little pink dress for me to truly realize how far I have come.
In the dress at my grad party.
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