Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Weigh In Wednesday

Its wednesday! I am sorry to say that I am up 2 lbs to 164. But thats ok!!! I am on a new plan and am sticking to it! I am hoping to lose 2 lbs a week up until the wedding I am in come August. It is about 4 weeks away so 8 lbs sounds great. Then I will be back on track :)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Motivation Monday (which is being posted on Tuesday)

This week (and every week until August 22nd) my motivation will come from this dress. This bridesmaid dress is the one I will be wearing in one of my best friends wedding in August. It is currently too tight against my butt and theighs and does not allow me much room to walk. I NEED to look great in this dress!!!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Goal Setting Sunday

Hi blogworld

So I know I didnt do "Weigh In Wednesday". Lets just say the result was not pretty and I'm hoping for better luck this week!!!

I had a really great week last week! I started the new job and I LOVE it so far! I know it has only been a week but I can already tell that this change is going to be very good for me :) I get to talk to people all day about why they should join a health club, what their goals are, and how we can create a program to help them reach their goals. I am REALLY loving it :)

You will also be happy to know that I met my goal of eating a healthy breakfast everyday last week! I decided to make fruit smoothies in the morning and LOVED it. Here is the recipe...

Fruit Smoothie: Breakfast of Champions
Combine 1 cup ice cubes, 1 container Dannon Light and Fit Strawberry Yogurt, 1 cup strawberries, 1 cup diced pineapple. BLEND. ENJOY!

It is so simple and SO delish!

So for this week I am going to keep going with the healthy breakfast and also add one goal. My goal for this week will be to drink 3 FULL NALGENE's OF WATER EACH DAY!!!

I hope it goes well :) Have a great week everyone!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Motivation Monday

For this very FIRST Motivation Monday I have chosen to feaure Mrs. Weight Loss!!! She is also new to the blogging world and her drive, vigor, and commitment to weight loss is very motivating. Keep up the good work!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Goal Setting Sunday, Motivation Monday, Weigh In Wednesday, and My New Plan

Hello blog world. After having SO much fun reading other weight loss, health, and just everyday blogs I have a few ideas. I am going to start having themes for some of the days:

Goal Setting Sunday:
As I said in my last post I am going to set a goal for each week. I will post it on sunday and update you through out the week.

Motivation Monday:
I have found SO many motivational blogs out there! The blog world if filled with so many STRONG women who are doing everything in their power to be healthy and live long and satisfying lives. This is so much more motivating than seeing a picture in a magazine and saying "I want to look like that". So each monday I will pick one of these blogs and put a link in my post. If I am at a loss for who to put in the post, I will put a motivating quote or story.

Weigh in Wednesday:
To keep me on track I will weigh myself once a week and post it, no matter what it says. I hope people out in blog world will leave comments with their progress as well :)

Let me just say, I have had one amazing week. I start my new job tomorrow and took this past week off to really reflect on myself and what I want in life. It was amazing. I got to run everyday, sit outside in the sun and just THINK and REFLECT on my life, what I want out of this job, and what decisions I want to make in the future in order to get the life I really want. Here are some things I learned:

*My body cannot sleep in anymore. This was very sad to learn. Even though I did not have to wake up to an alarm, my eyes were wide open at 7AM almost everyday.

*I really love to cook and to find healthy recipes. I have always had a huge aversion to most domestic activities. I am horrible at laundry, burn most things I try to microwave let alone cook on a stove. This week I loved making myself breakfast and lunch. I really concentrated on what my body was ASKING for, and not on what my mind WANTED. This led to less urges to purge what I was eating and the best part, NO GUILT!!!

*I am stronger than I think, and I am more capable than I can imagine. I realized this week that some of the reasons I have been so unhappy is because I never thought of myself as capable to make decisions for myself. I always assumed I would be wrong and took the advice other people gave me as stead fast truth. I learned this week that if I listen to my body, mind, and soul they will tell me what will truly make me happiest.

These (and many more) realizations lead me to my new plan for weight loss and health:
I will plan ahead for meals and try to cook for myself and for my husband. We will listen to our bodies and what nutrition they are truly craving. I think that cooking together, planning meals together, and grocery shopping together, will bring us closer as a married couple as well. I am going to try and eat 4-5 small meals and snacks a day in order to bring up my metabolism so I have energy al day long. Breakfast will consist of 200-300 calories and will ALWAYS have fruit and whole grain. A mid morning snack will most likely be yogurt or fruit with a few walnuts thrown in for an added crunch. I am thinking lunch will consist of a salad with some sort of lean meat or a sandwich with whole wheat bread. Mid afternoon will hopefully be a veggie with hummus (love love love!). and Dinner will be whatever my hubby and I make together that is healthy and full of nutrients. I am very excited about this plan and look forward to seeing how it plays out.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

First Things First...

I have learned in the last 6 months or so that if I set small goals for myself I can usually achieve them. When I set HUGE and astronomical goals, however, I end up falling flat in the dirt. This coming week I am starting a new job, and with it a new goal.

Week of July 13th Goal:

Eat a healthy breakfast everyday containing fruit and whole grains.

Lets how it works :)

Bulimia Background

I wanted to go ahead and share my background with bulimia, just to give everyone a little perspective.

I went on my first "diet" when I was 9 years old. I was a chubby child and was told for the first time at a sleep over that year that I was fat. This is probably one of my most vivid memories and, sadly, the one that sticks with me the most from my elementary school days. I immediately started to "diet", or what I thought dieting was in my little 9 year old mind. I was suddenly scared to eat in front of people. I would pretend to eat my lunch at school and then actually throw it away. Looking back this is so scary. I was 9 years old and was supposed to be having fun, and not in any way worrying about what I looked like. I lost weight that year instead of gaining like most 9 year olds do, and remember it as one of the most elated moments of my life. Little did I know that these activities would lead to a life long battle with weight, eating disorders, and control.

I first heard about bulimia and anorexia in a 6th grade presentation. Someone from the local hospital had come to school to talk to all the girls about peer pressure, sex, and eating disorders (all things we would surely start facing in our everyday life sooner than later). The woman presenting was a recovering anorexic and she described how she would cut her food into little bites so her family thought she ate more. She described savoring every bite of food she had because she was so hungry, but knew she couldnt eat more than a few bites. I thought that sounded like a fabulous idea and started to try and do the same thing. I would hold contests with myself, seeing how long I could go without eating and without anyone noticing I wasnt eating. Little did I know that to walk a mile in an anorexics shoes is a very hard mile indeed. When I couldnt take it anymore I binged on everything in site. Afterward I felt this extreme guilt for having such little self control. I then remembered the other part of the presentation, the part that talked about bulimia. I immediatly went to the toilet and threw everything up. It was the biggest feeling of control I have ever had. I could eat whatever I wanted and not get fat! This was insane and amazing and I felt my 12 year old mind swimming with a sense of power. The cycle began from there. I would get stressed and as a result eat everything in site to dull the stress or pain. I would then call myself a fat cow who cant handle anything in her life and has no self control. And then I would purge. This vicious cycle followed me through junior high, most of high school, and the later years in college.

This cycle has continued on and off for the last 13 years. I had it under control in high school, until I started applying to colleges.

I went to college at Bucknell University and honestly had 4 of the best years of my life. I made amazing friends, met my husband, and created memories that will last a lifetime. I struggled with my bulimia frequently in college, but tried to keep this as much of a secret as possible. I went to our campus nutritionist frequently, as well as psych services. It seemed so odd to me that EVERYTHING in my life was going so well (great grades, great friends, great boyfriend...) and still have the urge to purge everything I was eating. This was when it became very clear to me that my problem was much more deep rooted than I had originally thought.

After graduating from college (the saddest day ever) I moved in with my husband and soon after we were married. I struggled with my disease at this transition in my life (even though it was a happy one). I have an amazing support system in my husband and family and they want nothing more than to see me happy and healthy. I have always had a passion for exercise, and along with therapy decided to use exercise in my treatment of my disease. I found that if I exercised (in moderation of course. I have also had a problem with over exercising in the past) I am much less likley to feel the need to purge my food. I have to continually tell myself that the food I am eating is fueling my exercise and my running, and I need it to stay healthy!

It is an everyday struggle for me to stick with a HEALTHY, and balanced lifestyle. I find that the more I plan the easier it is to stay on an exercise and eating plan. I am trying to finally (for the first time in my life) to get to a healthy weight for my height. I am trying not to calorie count, but focus on healthy and whole foods that fuel my body. I used to see (and still do sometimes) food as something to shove in my mouth and then get rid of. I am trying to change my relationship with food and see it is a friend, not foe. This is a continued process, but I am hoping with the help of this blog I can see how far I can go and how far I have come :)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

About Me

I am a woman, a wife, a recovering bulimic, and a constant work in progress. I decided in the beginning of 2009 that I wanted to live a healthier life. Little did I know this would develop into more than a battle with weight and nutrition. I realized I was drifting through my life in a fog. I had a job I hated in an industry I was no longer passionate about. I had extreme anxiety issues and felt myself leaning back toward my old stress relieving ways, bingeing and purging. I was no longer the positive, happy, and "full of life" person I used to be. I was desperate to get back to the me I was before I became the me that I am. I had some very hard decisions to make, including quitting my very well paying job and pursuing a new career in an industry that I was passionate about but had no experience in.

Follow me as I continue to make hard decisions regarding my life, my career, my health, and my weight loss. On this blog I hope to share my ups and downs in my everyday battle with bulimia, my day to day thoughts on trying to live a life I love, and which path I take when I come to the proverbial "fork in the road"

Likes: pink, latte's, running, my husband, Oprah, good sushi, great wine, being awake, liberal politics, learning to cook and learning about nutrition, sleeping in a cold room, Frasier reruns, the smell of fresh cut grass and baking apples (not together), flowers for no reason, trying new beer, pineapple.

Dislikes/Annoyances: people who are chronically late, cheese on veggies, conservative politics, dark brown.